Lickety-Split: Tales of Tongue-Tied Tomfoolery
- Bubble wrap (popping bubbles is fun, but licking them? Not so much)
- Bag of chips labeled “Do Not Lick” (trust the warning!)
- Bar of soap (foam party in your mouth, anyone?)
- Bowling ball (it won’t strike a flavor sensation)
- Cactus (ouch, that prickly tongue!)
- Can of soda labeled “Shake Before Licking” (watch out for a fizzy surprise!)
- Car tire (that’s just rubbery madness)
- Chewing gum stuck to surfaces (resist the urge!)
- Computer screen (you might get a byte out of technology)
- Disco ball (licking it won’t make you a dancing star)
- Donut on someone else’s plate (it’s tempting, but it’s not polite!)
- Feather duster (it won’t clean your tongue, but it might tickle)
- Feather pillow (it’s meant for sleeping, not licking)
- Fake potted plant (you’ll be left with a plastic taste in your mouth)
- Frozen lamppost in winter (you might end up with a “sticky” situation)
- Garden gnome (gnomes have feelings too, you know!)
- Garden hose (water doesn’t taste any better when it’s licked)
- Golf ball (you’ll be teeing off on your taste buds)
- Helium balloon (you’ll sound funny but tasteless)
- Kazoo (humming is great, but licking your instrument is not)
- Other people (ask first)
- Rubber band (unless you want a zingy surprise)
- Rubber chicken (leave the poultry licking to the chickens)
- Rubber duck (it’s meant for baths, not tongues)
- Roll of duct tape (it won’t stick to your tongue, but it’s not tasty either)
- Roller coaster track (better to keep your taste buds intact)
- Snow globe (better to admire the snow from the outside)
- Stapler (it won’t staple your tongue, but it’s not tasty either)
- Traffic cone (cones are for directing, not licking)
- Traffic light (no, it won’t change your taste preferences)
- Vending machine (it won’t dispense any flavor, just disappointment)
- Whoopie cushion (it’s meant for laughs, not licks)
- Rubber stamp (unless you want to leave a mark on your taste buds)
- Bag of marbles (they won’t roll around in your mouth, but they’re not edible)
- Mailbox (don’t get caught up in a “lick and mail” situation)
- Moldy or rotten food (yuck!)
- Porcupine (unless you enjoy the taste of quills)
- Poisonous plants or mushrooms (not a wise choice)
- Public restroom floors or toilet seats (better safe than sorry)
- Sharp objects or knives (ouch, that’s dangerous)
- Toxic chemicals or cleaning agents (stay away from those!)
Keep Calm and Jester On!