Alabama:
- It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
- It’s unlawful to wear a blindfold while driving a vehicle.
Alaska:
- It’s illegal to wake a sleeping bear to take a photograph.
- It is against the law to give alcoholic beverages to a moose.
Arizona:
- Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
- You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
Arkansas:
- It is illegal to mispronounce the state’s name.
- Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.
California:
- Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
- Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
Colorado:
- It’s illegal to keep a couch on your porch.
- Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
Connecticut:
- It’s illegal to walk across a street on your hands.
- You can be fined for giving cigarettes to a minor, but you won’t be fined if you allow the minor to smoke.
Delaware:
- It’s illegal to whisper in church.
- It’s against the law to get married on a dare.
Florida:
- If you tie an elephant to a parking meter, you must pay the same parking fee as you would for a vehicle.
- Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
Georgia:
- It’s illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
- All sex toys are banned.
Hawaii:
- You may only have one alcoholic drink in front of you at a time.
- Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.
Idaho:
- It’s illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
- Cannibalism is prohibited, unless under life-threatening situations.
Illinois:
- It’s illegal for barbers to use their fingers to apply shaving cream to a customer’s face.
- The English language is not to be spoken.
Indiana:
- Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
- Liquor stores may not sell cold sodas.
Iowa:
- Kisses may last for as much as five minutes.
- One-armed piano players must perform for free.
Kansas:
- Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
- It’s illegal to catch fish with one’s bare hands.
Kentucky:
- It’s against the law to dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
- One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
Louisiana:
- It’s illegal to gargle in public places.
- It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Maine:
- Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
- You can’t park in front of Dunkin’ Donuts.
Maryland:
- It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies.
- Oral sex is considered a crime.
Massachusetts:
- Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
- Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
Michigan:
- It’s illegal to tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.
- A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
Minnesota:
- You may not cross state lines with a duck atop your head.
- All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
Mississippi:
- It’s illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
- In Oxford, it’s illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
Missouri:
- It’s illegal to drive with an uncaged bear.
- It’s against the law to honk another person’s horn.
Montana:
- It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
- Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.
Nebraska:
- It’s illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
- If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
Nevada:
- It’s illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
- It is illegal to lie down on the sidewalk.
New Hampshire:
- It’s illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
- You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
New Jersey:
- Frowning at a police officer is against the law.
- If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
New Mexico:
- Idiots may not vote.
- It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face).
New York:
- It’s illegal to jump off a building in New York City.
- Slippers are not to be worn after 10 PM.
North Carolina:
- Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
- It’s illegal to use elephants to plow cotton fields.
North Dakota:
- It’s illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
- Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
Ohio:
- It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
- It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
Oklahoma:
- It’s against the law to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7 PM.
- It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
Oregon:
- It’s illegal to go hunting in a cemetery.
- You cannot go hunting in a cemetery.
Pennsylvania:
- It’s illegal to tie a dollar bill on a string on the ground and pull it away when someone tries to pick it up.
- It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
Rhode Island:
- It’s illegal to race horses on the highway.
- It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
South Carolina:
- It’s unlawful to display a confederate flag on a public monument.
- A permit must be obtained to fire a missile.
South Dakota:
- It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
- Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
Tennessee:
- Sharing your Netflix password is technically a federal crime.
- It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
Texas:
- It’s illegal to sell one’s eye.
- A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
Utah:
- It is against the law to fish from horseback.
- You cannot cause a catastrophe.
Vermont:
- Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
- Whistling underwater is illegal.
Virginia:
- It’s illegal to tickle women.
- In Richmond, it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee.
Washington:
- It’s against the law to harass Bigfoot, Sasquatch, or other undiscovered subspecies.
- All lollipops are banned.
West Virginia:
- It’s illegal to snooze on a train.
- If you wear a hat inside a theater, you may be fined.
Wisconsin:
- State law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.
- Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
Wyoming:
- It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
- You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.